Shannon Beador Hands Down Won The ‘RHOC’ Reunion

I’m just gonna come out and say it. This season of has blown balls( but not Lydia’s husband’s, though, because he “got them chopped off.” Just ask her or watch like, four minutes of an episode ). I can’t care anymore about whether or not Vicki and Tamra will make up or whether or not Peggy is going to understand anything anyone is saying or whether or not Lydia is going to pray over someone. I simply can’t. The highlight of the season was Shannon not being able to disengage from her Peloton which was hysterical but not exactly what I expect to top the listing of moments on. So thankfully, right in time for Thanksgiving I might add, the reunion started last night. I mean, if Andy Cohen asking shady af questions to overdressed women on lounges rehashing all the shit they talked about one another doesn’t top your list of things to be grateful for, I don’t know what does. Fuck the mashed potatoes. You have some spirit searching to do. And to celebrate the genius that is these reunions, we’re ranking the’ spouses by the one who sucked the most last night to the one that sucked the least. Let’s get to it.

7. Peggy Sulahian

Peggy merely sat there. Tbh, I don’t remember her saying a word other than the awkward “Hi, Andy” at the beginning. This is your first( and probs last) reunion, Peggy. Fucking say something.

6. Lydia McLaughlin

Could this girl be more vexing? She’s like the Taylor Swift of Bravo. Constantly being a petty brat and talking shit about people, but always claiming to be the nice daughter victim. Fucking vom. From her defending calling Shannon a sociopath because it was “to her face” to her not being able to be around drag queens because there isn’t a poem about them in the Bible( wtf ?), it’s gonna be a hard pass on Lydia from me. Also, the whole “game friggin’ on” line she threw at Meghan in an attempt to be a badass was an epic fail.

5. Vicki Gunvalson

Even though she looked like a total asshole all season long, Vicki was able to somewhat redeem herself by actually apologizing to Shannon for telling the world her husband beat her. But like, this is a reunion , not an episode of. Where tf are the slanderous allegations and inaudible screaming? You’re the OG of the OC. Devote the people what they want.

4. Kelly Dodd

I wish there was an award for most improved Housewife, because Kelly Dodd would win. I mean, last season Kelly was good for Tv and all, but she was a fucking head case. You can’t call person a cunt at the dinner table. You merely can’t. But all that said, come reunion time I missed old Kelly. I require drama. I need name-calling. I need the jaunt of secrets we were never supposed to know, but now we know because you’re pissed someone was mean to you on the bus in Ireland. She talked about her divorce, and I’m super pumped to assure single Kelly next season, but I simply expected more from the resident BSCB housewife.

3. Meghan King Edmonds

Meghan takes a spot in the three best, because she’s the only one who remembered that this is a fucking Bravo reunion and not a is high time to cook a cake filled with rainbows and smiles that everyone can eat and be happy. She came to play. Did she entirely start a fight with Lydia about not liking clairvoyants out of nowhere for no reason? She sure did. And guess what? I’m fucking here for it. Because this is the. Fucking argue about something insignificant and stop crying.

2. Tamra Judge

First things first. Tamra seems fucking hot. How is she 50? Who is her plastic surgeon? If I exert, will I look like her in 25 years? Tamra, please DM me the answers to these questions. Thanks. Tamra’s biggest moment of reunion talks to the state of things with her daughter, which apparently isn’t going so well. It actually made me feel real feelings, which was weird, but I was also finishing my fourth glass of wine at that point so maybe that explains it. Even though her main segment was depressing af she gets a high ranking for a) appearing awesome and b) calling Shannon out for being a buzzkill all season long. That’s what real friends do, people.

Also, for the record. This^ is what reunions are supposed to look like.

1. Shannon Beador

Shannon was clearly the starring of last night’s reunion because it’s the first time she publicly spoke about her divorce from David, and most of the women didn’t know, so it was a bombshell. Was it a little teary/ sad for my own personal taste? Yes. But she did exactly what she needed to do. She took total responsibility for everything bad she did all season but managed to blame it on her disintegrating matrimony with her shitty fuckboy husband. Now , not only did she get the sympathy of America, she also set herself in a position where none of the women can come for her without looking like total assholes who are picking on the sad fat girl. We played, my friend. She also get bonus phases for losing 25 pounds in time for the reunion. Mazel!

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