Science Won’t Let Us Have Nice Things: Gum Is Bad For You

In the most heartbreaking news since Diet Coke makes you gain weight, chewing gum is bad for you. Considering that my spring break diet is pretty much Starbucks and Spearmint Rain 5 gum, this is pretty devastating. Like, science has already fucked our GPAs, can it leave our diets in peace?

Betches love gum because it’s been proven that chewing sugar free gum suppresses your appetite and helps you focus. It’s like a low-rent version of Adderall for narcsgirls who can’t get a prescription. But nothing is perfect (not even you), and apparently one of the not-so-great ingredients in most gum is titanium oxide, a whitening agent. It’s one of the chemicals in food that make it look and taste better, but according to a new study it can fuck up your digestive tract.

This study found that ingesting too much titanium oxide (Is 6 pieces of gum a day too much?? Asking for a friend) prevents your intestines from absorbing iron, zinc, and fatty acids, which are all nutrients your body needsyes, even the fatty acids. That means that if you chew too much, you could cause long-term damage to your intestines and shit and you could even become malnourishedbut like, not in a good way. But then again, your digestive system can also get screwed up by drinking multiple bottles of wine during or purposefully not eating dinner before you go out, or so I am told by my mom and my therapist.

So should you swear off gum forever? We’re not going to tell you how to live your life, but ehh. For one, the scientists only conducted this research on individual cells. There haven’t been any animal or human trials, which means this is like a lab experiment from high school chemistry class: it might be right, but our lab partners did all the work so we don’t really know. For another thing, this hasn’t been proven that it will 100% happen, and I for one am not going to quit my gum habit just because I *might* get some intestional issues later on. That would be like me giving up Netflix because I go blind from watching 10 straight hours of #NotWorthIt

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