If You Want A Favor From Someone, Science Says You Shouldn’t Say ‘Please’

The Internet is full of advice about how to get people to do what you want.

Much of this advice is both bullshit and fucked up.( Take exhibits A, B and C: the Negging philosophy for picking up females, otherwise known as Be an awful monster and maybe someone will be sad, demoralized and hurt enough to kiss you .)

But knowing how to be assertive and get what you want non-cruelly particularly in undertaking sets is obviously a helpful tool many of us struggle with.

My go-to technique for get what I want in the workplace is usually as follows 😛 TAGEND

Step one: waiting. Step two: become too old to live alone and get sent to a nursing home.

The results are inconclusive regarding this strategy. But while I wait, let me inform you about a new bit of studies that can help you out.

Supposedly, according to “science ,people react very favorably when you ask them if they’d be willing to do something for you.

As Elizabeth Stokoe one of the psychologists behind the study explains,

What was really interesting about the mediation’ willings’ is that if you ask someone,’ Are you interested in arbitration? ’ they might say yes or no. But if you ask them if they’re willing to mediate, that requires them saying something about the type of person that they are.

You can agree or disagree with this assertion. But to me, it sort of induces intuitive case.

She added, however, that you shouldn’t only rely on using “willing” right away because it puts people on guard. Rather, it should be used afterward in the conversation after the person has pushed back a bit in order to change the power dynamic.

Again, let me remind you, it is extremely uncool to employ this strategy or in fact, any strategy like it to try to hook up with someone. Don’t be a shit.

Just use it to get your raise.

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