Everything About You Scares Me, Which Is Why I Want To Love You

You have caught me so “off ones guard”. Youre everything I know I dont need right now but want so bad. Theres a second when youre in my space that I feel like Im suffocating because your intensity, your beauty, your smart-aleckies knock me backwards. It stimulates me wonder and believe that all the people Ive met before were guiding me to this moment. The moment where when we speak to each other I feel like Im home. Because home isnt necessarily a place but a feeling .

Right now were both not in a place to love each other. To dedicate each other the support we need in order to be good enough to work. Maybe its because were both two very free spirits who dont even know the direction we should go. All I know is that our directions should be the same. Because with you I manage to be able to be more me. Slowly but surely there will be phases where I question you because youre not something Im used to.

Even if everything else around us and within our own cosmoes is complete and utter chaos, you stand tall and true as steadiness.

Its a feeling. I merely feel it in my gut. I said oh shit the minute I saw you because deep down inside I felt that you were going to be something. And you are something. What? Im not so sure yet. But I want to be sure. I want to be sure that youre not going to be gone tomorrow. And every indications point to you not disappearing.

When you satisfy people sometimes they just ignite something in your bones. You feel it like an electric shock sent straight through your entire body. And you need to see them again.

Youre almost too afraid to see them again. Because theyre captivating and stimulate your heart wishes to explode out of your chest.

You find the true beauty in their express and foibles. Those weird peculiarities that stimulates someone them. Thats how I feel about you.

And Im excited. Its the various kinds of aroused Ive been before but havent felt in a while. Youre not a chore. Not someone whos emotionally draining. Youre merely you and honey, only you is perfectly alright with me. When you look at me I feel like we have a secret understand, a private gag, that no one else is privy too.

But then the anxiety sets in. The notion that maybe, simply perhaps Im not enough.

Im frightened that I wont be able to offer you enough. Im afraid that Im merely not enough. I mean weve both watched and felt what happens when it doesnt work up. We both know ache even if weve felt it in highly different ways. Ache is pain and we both have been the victims of this cruel mistress but we both survived. And were here.

I can tell you that the anxiety is virtually enough to induce me walk away. Its almost enough to stimulate me not want to dive back into something that leaves me vulnerable and at the compassion of someone else. But letting the potential for love slip away is worse than “re going through” the hurt again. In this instance there is nothing to lose and everything to gain because sweetie, youd definitely be worth my wounded ego and hurt pride if for even just a millisecond I get to hold you .

So Im going to weather this cyclone. Im going to go full force into it and hope that somehow I make it out with little to no damage. That somehow if theres a hurricane coming for me that youre there to guide me through it.

Theres just something in the way you say my name that stimulates me realize that I have nothing to lose and you to gain. So lets go on this adventure together and see where it takes us, shall we?

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