Broomsticks, T-shirts and coffee: what every feminist wants for Christmas

What do you get the feminist who has more vagina charm necklaces than they know what to do with? Here are a few suggestions …

Heres the problem with feminism: it makes the holidays very hard. Particularly when it comes to gift-giving. Of course, most women are content with something pink and expensive under the Christmas tree. But what about those feminists who demand presents that dont prop up the patriarchy, gifts that dont give in to gender stereotypes, trinkets that dont trade in transmisogyny and objects that dont objectify? Its a minefield, basically and one you should tread carefully. Everyone knows feminists dont have a sense of humour.

Thankfully, there are already numerous gift guides tailored to the feminist in your life you know, as opposed to all those other women who are not interested in equal-gifting rights. According to these guides, feminist-friendly presents include a Uterus Plush Figure (an informative tag describes the wonders of the womb); a $155 (122) Vagina Charm Necklace; a body-positive iPhone case; and period pants.

Vagina charm necklaces. Photograph: Otherwild

These are all bloody good suggestions, dont get me wrong. Sometimes, however, a feminist just has more vagina charm necklaces than she knows what to do with. So Ive helpfully put together a few more ideas to help you close the gift gap this December.

1. A nice broomstick

Definitions of feminism can differ so its worth quickly recapping what the f-word actually means. Pat Robertson, an American televangelist, might have said it best when he described feminism as a movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practise witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. Now, I hate to make sweeping generalisations, but if youre going to practise witchcraft, then youre going to need a broomstick.

Feminism means having the right to pun badly Photograph:

2. A witty slogan T-shirt

If youre a feminist but dont have a T-shirt proclaiming youre a feminist, are you really a feminist? Probably not. Women have never had so much freedom to purchase hideous T-shirts that let the world know that they truly do buy into feminism. With slogans such as Girls just wanna have fun-damental human rights; Who needs gender roles when we can have pizza rolls?; or Ovaries before Brovaries, you can show the world how important it is to have equal access to terrible puns.

3. A mallet

The bigger, the better. What, did you think the patriarchy was going to topple itself?

Choose power self-love pinky ring. Photograph: Fred + Far

4. A pinky ring

If you like feminism, you should put a ring on it. More specifically, you should put a pinky ring on it. Fred+Far, an LA-based jewellery company, offers a self-love pinky ring billed as an anti-engagement ring. Woman, the website says, reclaim yourself choose power, choose fulfilment, choose choice choose yourself. If you think this sounds like some grade A bullshit rather thanSerious Feminism, Id caution you not to be so cynical and have a little feminist faith. Buy a $325 (256) pinky ring and equal rights will undoubtedly follow.

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