I was in a slapstick group in college. We spent a lot of time together, and like any group of matured, budding professionals, we creatednicknames for each other.Most of them had an artistic flare, like D-Cork, KCD and Xtini.( In hindsight, it was just a list of poorly abbreviated names .)
My nickname was Snowflake.Why? “Because you are just stone cold, ” they would say as they shook their heads in horrified unison.That was my thing, I guess. I stomped on fragile hearts with my knee-high boots.
According to my Myers-Briggs outcomes, I am typed as an ENTJ. If you’re familiar with Myers-Briggs, you will understand this means my life is guided by calculated, logical strategy. If you are unfamiliar, I will give you a reference frame. About 1 percent of women fall into this bucket, and of men the who stimulated the cut, one is Joseph Stalin.
Thus, I was nicknamed Snowflake.I get it.I don’t genuinely carried myself through sentiment. I fell people whoare sh* tty boyfriends, friends, Internet service providers without a second thought. My motherly instinct is best exhibited when I carry a instance of brew on my child-bearing hip.
But here’s the thing: I’m not a f* cking sociopath.I’ve had the same group of girlfriends for 10 years now. I care about my family very, very deeply. I have loved, I have been loved and I have been in love.( Barf, right ?)
Unemotional girls exist. I am living, breathing, furiously typing proof of that. We are often confounding and/ or misconstrue. So, allow me to help you understand us through my real, true love: a healthy outline of logical reasoning. Here are four things you should know about unemotional girls 😛 TAGEND
1. Why we are the route we are is not for you to figure out.
If we are not sharing our feelings with you, it likely means we don’t want you in our business.Expressing feelings does not bring us the wave of relief it brings many. It builds us feel exposed, like we are indulging in self-pity. Ithonestly builds us very uncomfortable.
We will share pieces of ourselves when we trust you and when we feel it will move our relations forward. It’s not always a mystery; sometimes we literally simply have nothing to express.Be patient, and we will talk about what is important when it’s important.
2. We freak the f* ckout when we lose control.
Occasionally, our otherwise placid beach of well-reasoned apathy is destroyed by a wave of emotion.I don’t mean, like, we feel sad at a movie. What I mean is that something triggers our untapped reserve of sentiment, and we have a breakdown.
Something like a career change, finals week or a f* ckboy screwing us over acts as the straw that violates the camel’s back. Every impression we’ve justified as being insignificant resurfaces as a collective beast.Because we are not used to letting feelings take the reins, we lose our sh* t.It’s like putting a toddler behind the wheel of a car. We have no f* cking notion how to drive this thing.
So eventually, we’ll crash into our wall, feel depleted, rationalize why we had that meltdown and move on.This rarely lasts long, but in the moment it feels very, very real to us. So, just let us bitch it out. Offer us a few words of support, and let us go on our 90 -mphway.
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3. We are low-key thankful for the emotional people in our lives.
Because we rarely let ourselves be provide guidance to emotion, we often associate them as being trivial.However, because we are not actually robots, we do feel.I can’t tell you how meaningful it has been to have a friend in my corner who promotes this.
Had it not been for a friend who stressed the importance of experiencing shared, vulnerable love, I would have rationalized my way out of many relationships.My breakups would have led me into a very confusing, dark place. My friend remindedme it’sOKto be sad when you lose something that once meant something to you.
We was of the view that anything that cannot be justified, explained or rationalized is wrong. It is therapeutic and very important to have person remind us that none of those will do the trick sometimes.
4. When we care, it means we really f* cking care.
If we weep at the loss of something, show you signs of affection or genuinely share ourselves with you, it means we care very much.We don’t cast a wide net. We’re fly fishin’, baby. We take time to foster relationships, friendships and careers we want to see evolve.
If we don’t really like you, we can easily justify to ourselves why we don’t need you around. If we have a glimpse of sadness, we can assess whether it’s worth being unhappy over and if it will make a difference in the long term. We dismiss what doesn’t make sense. We disregard what doesn’t serve us.We’re pragmatic in what we set our efforts and affection toward. If you are on that list, it means we really want you to be.