22 People Describe When Their Sexual Fetishes Went HORRIBLY Wrong

1. SEMI-PUBLIC SEX WITH DUCKS NEARBY

Semi-public sex in high school. We ran under a bridge. It was kind of muddy and gross, and there were ducks hanging out close by. I couldn’t focus on pounding my GF because I was concerned that a duck was going to bite my balls while Iwas distracted.

2. WAKE-UP BLOWJOB

Girl wanted to do the awesome thing where they wake you up with a blowjob. She wanted to deep-throat it. I woke up to sounds of gagging and then 2 seconds later a crotch full of vomit. Lovely.

3. HE ALMOST DIED DROWNING IN PUSSY

Boyfriend wanted to try and go down on me in the rain. He’s about 30 seconds in and starts coughing and choking bad. He basically almost drowned in the rain, while going down on me. I told him if he had died, we could have put on his gravestone: Died drowning in pussy.

4. GLORY-HOLE PENIS SPLINTER

A glory hole thing with my ex-boyfriend, it was fun, we were at some shady adult store and it was extremely hot until he let out a sound like the Devil had just stuck a red hot poker up his butt. I guess while he was banging me through the hole the corner of it had a stray splinter and it dug into his dick. This wasn’t just any sliver, it seemed as if a piece of the timber had cracked and it was a 1-inch-long shard. I drove him home and nursed him back to health by removing the sliver and cleaning his wound while listening to his cursing all evening.

5. SOIXANTE-NEUF AVEC MERDE

69 … She had a piece of shit stuck in her asshole hair.

6. FUNGAL FOOTJOB

Footjob, but the girl had toe fungus.

7. Firecrackers ON MY CLIT

Use Pop Rocks they said, it’ll be fun they said! Exploding candy under your hood is no joke! I had to attempt to run to the bathroom with what felt like firecrackers on my clit !! NEVER !! AGAIN !!

8. LEOPARD PRINT SEX SWING

Sex swing. Bought one for GFs apartment. I was hanging it up to the roof in these shitty apartments while she was at work. Get it up and decided to test it before putting her in it. Sat down. Put a bit more of my weight on it. Lifted one foot off the ground, then another. Sat for a second, hear a pop and crack. I seemed up and the bolts broke free of the rafter. I’m staring up at a 5-10 pound steel bar falling right into my forehead as my ass hits the ground. I’m not sure how long I was out for, but I awoke on the floor half-wrapped in a leopard publish sex swing.

9. CEMENTED TOGETHER IN AGONY

When I was in my early 20′ s, I won a Valentines Day basket at work. It had champagne, chocolate dipped strawberries, handcuffs, edible lingerie, that various kinds of stuff. After suffering the humiliation of winning said gift basket in front of an office full of clucking older dames giving me knowing smiles and cracking gags at my expense, I took it home and my husband( then boyfriend) and I decided to have a little fun. One of the items in the basket was a set of flavored body paints. Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Now, after tasting them, we realized that they actually savor good , not chemically or weird like a lot of that type of thing. So things get heated, we start fooling around and “were starting” simply painting the shit out of each other, licking it off, generally feeling pretty good and having a great time. Eventually we can’t stand it anymore and we start having sexuality, and within about 5 seconds we realized what a horrible mistake we’ve attained. Our scalp felt like it altogether fused together. Hair in every place that either of us had it was being ripped out. Our stomachs, legs and limbs were cemented together and we were in agony. We had to literally count one another down to ripping our legs apart one by one, then subsequently screaming and giggling hysterically afterward. I ended up with a small patch of his pubic hair on my thigh, for God’s sake. Never again.

10. CUM& VOMIT

Had a girlfriend who had a serious gag reflex and couldn’t stand cumming in her mouth. But bless her heart she always wanted to try and stimulate things run. So she says’ tonight is the night’ and starts going down on me. I come and at that moment I look down and watch’ the appear’ on her face. She tried to swallow but half a second subsequently she proceed to throw up violently all over me. I am standing here covered nuts-to-face in a mix of vomit and cum. We beelined for the shower and she apologized profusely and cleaned me up when the giggles began. There we were in a tiny shower laughing our ass off. She dates women now, but she was a total trouper.

11. HOT LUBE

Me and the spouse tried some of that couples’ lube that when combined attained you feel awesome. It blended all right, just like water on a damn grease flame. We were both burning so bad we aimed up chuckling till we could scarcely breathe fighting over the shower head.

12. BORING BONDAGE

I tried tying my spouse up. It simply felt awkward. Neither of us could really get into it. I merely untied her and we watched.

13. A MARCHING BAND OF CUM FARTS

A few years ago, I began watching a lot of anal porn. I was a little hesitating about trying it, but it looked, especially when it came to women employing sexuality playthings on their pussies while a guy pounded away at her arse. I was curious and wanted to try it. I was in a long-distance relationship at the time, so we talked about it in preparation for the next visit; I had a shiny new butt plug and a plethora of lube ready to go. Unlike porn, it wasn’t quite as straightforward. I underestimated research results. We went at it for a bit and it felt good; he finished and I went to clean myself up. I was unprepared for the marching band of cum farts that emitted from my newly discovered sweet place. This was before we were fully comfy letting rip in front of each other, so imagine the horror on my face when I realize that he can hear this roaring animal from the next room. The farts alone I might have been okay with, but the splattering detonation of semen induced it sound like there was some explosive diarrhea going on. We aimed up giggling about it, but at the time, it was terrible. Still wouldn’t stop me from trying anal again though. Yes, I did anal bareback before I was comfortable with my farts around him. I severely underestimated what a colossal pseudo-prolapse I’d be dealing with.

14. ANAL KNOCKOUT

Gay guy here. My boyfriend and I were having sexuality and he asked me to really go to township on his assso I did. I was pumping away so fast and hard I guessed I was going to have a heart attack. I thought the sidepiece of my bed frame fell off with a thud to the ground. Then my boyfriends body went limp…he wasn’t moving. Apparently, I rammed him so hard, his head made the wooden headboard and he was knocked out cold. Before anyone asks , no, I didn’t finish.

15. FINANCIAL DOMINATION

Financial Domination. In short, you give someone money without expecting anything in return and you get turned on by it. I got into it before I even knew it existed or even had a name. Contacted a girl on gonewildcurvy, asked to send money sporadically. It became an addiction. I was always distracted thinking about it. Once I found out what it was and “ve seen how” it was done professionally, I tried moving on to other girls who did it professionally. Ended up in debt for the first time in my lifeI was always good with my money until I stumbled upon this fetish. I’ve stopped doing it but I still fantasize about it while watching porn believing’ imagine if that girl milked me dry of all my earnings.’ It’s so weird but it’s such a rush. I’m scared once I start inducing real money instead of just working a part-time undertaking, I wouldn’t be able to resist the recommend to spend thousands of dollars a year on it.

16. CARBONATED BLOWJOB

GF at the time loved devoting blowjobs and wanted to try something different. She heard somewhere that if she keeps soda in her mouth while dedicating head the bubbles feel good for the guy. So she tries it with ICE COLD COKE. Like a frightened turtle it ended.

17. I DECIDED TO TRY AND LET MY DOG FUCK ME

I was into bestiality. One night, after drinking copious amount of vodka, I decided to try and let my puppy fuck me. He gladly obliged. Regrettably, the angle and etc. resulted in a sudden and sharp pain deep in my ass( oh, I am a guy, sorry to ruin the fantasy ). We stopped. The hemorrhaging did not stop for several hours. I started to feel REALLY…wrong. I finally went to the ER. The doctor asked what happened, and I told him I tried to fuck myself with a…toilet brush, as it was the only thing I could think of. My white blood cell count was through the roof. Doctor said had I awaited overnight, I likely would have died. I was admitted and given an IV antibiotic, which saved me that nasty $125 co-pay. And saved my dumb-ass lifeno pun intended.

18. BONDAGE FREAKOUT

I’ve tied up an ex, started out fine, then she starts freaking out and hyperventilating. Scared the shit out of me, she had no notion what attained her react like that.

19. VIBRATOR GOT STUCK UP HER BUTT

Butt play with a vibrator that was too small and it got stuck up inside her. She had to sit on the stool, push like she going no 2, and I had to use my thumbs to pull it out. She was in near hysterics screaming’ I don’t want to have to go to the emergency room !!!’ I was able to pacify her down a bit and she ultimately was able to release it. I was trying hard not to laugh but I did. She was mad but eventually forgave me.

20. NEVER INSERT A WINE BOTTLE

This is an appropriate thread for a regular reminder that you should insert a wine bottle( or any alcohol ). It has a high fatality rate, and if you don’t die you’ll sure be messed up. Alcohol is severe enough when going through the body’s normal filtration procedures, but pouring it in the anus gets it into your bloodstream rapidly without any filtration. It’s more of an effective way of assination than fetish play.

21. GAGGED ON A PIERCING

This happened like 8 years ago. I had had my tonsils out when I was a kid, so I have 2 pits in my throat where they used to be. so I was deep throating this dude that I was about to bang for the 1st time. he had horizontal Prince Albert pierces( 5 total, all the way from the from the head of his wiener to the base .) and as normal I gagged, but at this time, the lowest barbell, the perfect thicknes of my throat, slipped into my tonsil holes and is stuck/ hooked. he panicked and tried to pull it out, but my gagging wedged it in therewas 30 seconds, perhaps, before my throat relaxed…ripped his dick a bit, and tore 2 bloody holes in my throat. There was gagging, drooling, a lil retch, lots of bleed, sweating, weeping. hurt 10 days worse than strep throat for like a week.

22. CONDOM JUST VANISHED LIKE HOUDINI

First time anal…condom only vanished like Houdini. It was so odd she actually questioned whether we even used one in the first place, so I only went with it and say I likely forgot to strap it on. Imagine her horror and bewilderment as she shat it out 3 days later. So yeah, that was a fun weekend.

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